The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
