Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
