It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You took a bar mat shot.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize