Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you will always have a special place in my vag
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
