I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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