He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
