well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
