I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
