this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
