Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
