I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
