It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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