she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
