I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
