Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
