I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
