is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
