you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
