Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
