What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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