That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
