Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
