Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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