Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
