help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
