garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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