Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
