i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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