I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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