her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
