so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
