Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
