Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
