Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
