walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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