I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
