i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
