okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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