Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize
