He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
