Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
