Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
