I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
