just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
