I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
