I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
