i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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