It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
