You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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