he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
