now i know why i became what i already was.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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