lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
