I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
