yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
only you would photoshop your dick
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
