you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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