I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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